Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Whats new with life.....

So….its been well over a year since I wrote a post, but I am going to start posting more blogs and keep it updated as much as possible. So, over the past year and a half, a lot has happened. So, a lot has to do with the major changes in my life. Three major changes would be 1. Weight loss  2. Divorce  3. Job Change, and a few other changes that have affected my life. So I will talk about each of those then talk about the few other things.

Weight loss….So I would have to say that in all my life, even though I have been a bigger girl, I have never felt like…I was fat. It wasn’t until someone I loved and trusted said to me “ I feel like your gaining weight”. It hurt, mostly because I felt judged according to my weight, not for who I was. Lets get this straight…I know I have always been a bigger girl, however I had never felt FAT until then. So, for the first time in my life I felt like I needed to loose weight for someone else. So for a while I was trying to loose weight and nothing worked. A few months into it I decided I needed to loose weight to be healthy, not to be thin…There is a difference. I knew I wanted a baby, but I needed to be healthier to have a baby. So this motivated me and I began to loose weight. I started working out and eating healthier. This all began about the end of August 2010 and it is now December 2011. I have lost about 80 pounds and I feel so much better. I want to loose about another 40 and I will be at a good weight to start working on having a baby. I feel healthier and I am seeing results, but it was a long time coming. It is true what people say..it is HARDER to take it off then it is to put it on! LOL, but worth it.

Divorce…..how I hate this word…I really am not going to go into detail how this all went about, but Abraham and I got a divorce and it was final in July 2011. I do not think there will ever be a time that I will ever stop wishing this could have worked, or hoping that one day, it could still work. However, it is what it is and I can not change it. I love Abraham for the person he is and the person he has helped me become. I would not change ever having met him. He is a good person, and I know for a while things were just so tense when anyone mentioned his name around me…but it is ok now. We have talked and spent time together and we know we love each other, but right now it needs to be what it is. I am grateful for the support I got from my family and friends.

I will write about the other stuff later, gotta go..

Monday, February 7, 2011

Family......

My family is a little different than most. So here is a little background. My parents married before any of us kids were born and when I was six my parents got divorced and my mother moved to Arizona. From the time I was 6 until I was 14 I spent a lot of time going back and forth between Arizona where my mom was living and Wyoming were my dad was. My dad remarried when I was 14 to a woman named Ramona. She was like a second mom to me. Then my mom married a man named Marc when I was 18. They had already been married once before and got divorced then married again when I was 18. My siblings spent a lot of time going back and forth but Jason primarily lived in Arizona with my mom and Rose who also lived with my mom for the majority of their young lives. My step mother and my dad divorced in August of 2010 and he remarried a woman named Deby. They currently live in Tooele, UT. The picture of us is at their wedding. Tanner was not able to attend and that is why there are signs saying we love and miss you Tanner. So, here is the scoop on my siblings no and where they are at.
 Jason, who is my oldest brother and is now 33 and has 2 girls (Maddy and Kayla) from a previous relationship and is Married to a wonderful woman named Amber who 32 and has 2 sons from previous relationships (Taylor and Austen). They are expecting a baby in July and found out today that it’s going to be a GIRL!!! Yeay! I’m Sad that they are moving to Arizona, but happy that my big brother will be going back to school. Then there is my second oldest brother who is 32 and lives with his wife in Colorado Springs, CO. He is married to a wonderful woman named Selina, and I am not sure how old she is but she has a daughter named Brittney, from a previous marriage. Selina is finishing up with Massage therapy school and will graduate in March. They will hopefully be settling down in Colorado Springs. Then there is my younger sister named Rosanna and she is 27 and recently graduated form School in cosmetology. She worked really hard to get that done. She will be moving to Arizona the end of February 2011. It will be sad to see her move.  Then there is my younger brother Tanner. He is 18 and currently lives with Ramona, My previous step mom. He is an amazing young man and will be able to achieve so many things in his life. He has Down Syndrome, but he never lets that get in his way. He has participated in a lot of Special Olympics events and has won a lot of medals both regionally and State competitions. I hope to see him soon. Even if it’s just for a visit. This is a overall look at my family…there is always so much more to know, and I could go on for days………

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Reflecting

So, this is my first blog about, anything really... I currently work for a facility that helps people with disabilities. We have 66 residents who live at the facility and I have found that since I graduated from UVU with my Bachelor’s I really like this work. I am the program director and I love working with the individuals we care for. I feel like my desire for this type of work comes from 2 different things...1st would be the love I have for my younger brother Tanner!! He is probably one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He has blest my life in more ways than I can ever explain. My father and Step mother at the time, Ramona, adopted him when I was 14. He was so tiny and seemed so fragile, but he thrived and is now an amazing individual who is independent and can do many things on his own. He is what made my life bearable and I cannot imagine him ever now being a part of my life...Even if he is on the other side of the states. 2nd would be growing up struggling with my English grammar and being in recourse classes for the most part of my early education, clear through high school. I never thought I would be smart enough, yet capable enough to get a college education. I had amazing teachers during high school who taught me that I could do anything I wanted to do if I worked hard enough for it. My father, stepmother, mother and step father were also positive and taught me that if I wanted something bad enough, I was capable of achieving it. I not only did it, but I excelled in it.  And even though my mother and step father were not able to see me graduate because they had died before they got the chance to, I graduated with my Bachelor’s from a University, with a overall GPA  of 3.75. NEVER, NEVER did I see something like that being possible....Especially because the highest GPA in high school was like a 3.0 and that was if I was lucky. Also, growing up struggling with my English skills and being able to take a Honor's English class in College and Get not only a A but write a paper so well that I was asked to publish it. So there you have it.....This is all why I do the things I do. I enjoy helping those who can't do it for themselves. It is the most amazing feeling watching someone who is learning to do for themselves what they couldn’t do before, and watching them excel at it...A feeling that will never be able to be forgotten.